Ralph and Ella: Their Courtship

When Ralph proposed to Ella, it wasn’t down on one knee, but he describes it as “kind of
a mutual thing.” After dating for just “a matter of weeks”, Ralph says,

“I became convinced that she was the girl for me and the girl of my dreams, early in our dating program."(1)

They soon decided they wanted to spend their lives together (though they didn't get married until almost 2 years after that first date).

"I remember when I asked her [to marry me], she said, ‘Let me pray about it.’ She wouldn’t give me an answer! … Well, the answer came back. [He chuckles.]”(2)

“I went and met with her father, scared to death, but I said, ‘Brother Findlay, I want to marry your daughter.’ He said, ‘Well, you will date.’ [Chuckles.] He was a man of few words. I don’t know whether he ever said OK! [Chuckles.] (3)

After graduating from Mesa High School in May 1952, Ralph was making plans to move in with his mother (Juanita), stepfather (Lester), and three half brothers (Ivan, David, and Eddie) at their apartment in Wilmington, California. But before he left, Ralph and Ella went to a jewelry store and bought an engagement ring set, tentatively planning to get married the following spring.

Submarine net. (Image source)

For the next 9 months, from May 1952 until March 1953, Ralph was in southern California, going to school at Los Angeles Harbor Junior College, taking classes for their architecture and drafting program.(4) He was also working, initially with Lester at his bait business (digging for and selling rock worms to fishermen) and then for a company named Grommet Reaver making submarine nets.(5)

Still in Mesa, Ella worked for a time as a secretary at one of the elementary schools. Then she got a job at the high school, working with one of the gym teachers to help keep track of sports records and other related details.

(Image Source)

How did they keep in touch during this long-distance relationship? Ella visited Ralph in California a couple of times (riding the Greyhound bus from Mesa to Los Angeles), though Ralph didn’t go back to Mesa again until their wedding. They kept in touch by letters and phone, but mostly by letters. 

“Nobody had more than one phone in their house, and they were all land lines.... There was a special little cubby hole built for the phone. Boy, if you had a phone in your house, you were uptown! And if it rang, you’d have to run and get it. Ella’s family had a phone in their apartment, and we would call occasionally, but mostly it was, I’d get to a phone booth because I had to pay for the long-distance call. Juanita and Lester had a phone in their house. We didn’t spend so much time on the phone.(6)

“We called occasionally - long distance calls were expensive at the time! It might have cost 50 cents or more! … No speakerphones, but the big old heavy handset! Dial on the base, and hold the phone on your shoulder.”(7)

They wrote letters!

(Image Source)

“The letters cost 3 cents to mail. I could write a letter, usually fairly short letters...and I could drive them down to the Wilmington post office, get them there by 5 o’clock, and she would have it the next day. Not even airmail!...We did a lot of writing, almost daily. For 3 cents, we could almost talk to each other!”(8)

Though there was that physical distance between them, their relationship still remained strong. 

Then one day…“I got this invitation in the mail that said the parents of Ella Findlay, George and Kate Findlay, announce the wedding of their daughter Ella to Ralph Mitchell...’Whoa! That’s me!’” [Chuckles.](9)

The big day was set for March 5, 1953.

Notes:

1. From a phone conversation with Ralph and Ella, recorded 22 March 2015, at  about min 9.
2. From a video of Ralph and Ella filmed on 9 February 2014,  at about min 39. Ella has also joked that she make a pre-nup agreement: “I’ll marry you if we don’t live in AZ.” (From a conversation recorded April 2018.)
3. From a phone conversation with Ralph and Ella, recorded 13 January 2015,  at about min 38.
4. The last couple years of high school, Ralph was interested in studying architecture. He had entered a drawing into a contest sponsored by the Ford Motor Company and received an honorable mention! (Ralph adds the caveat, “Like thousands of others,” but still impressive!) (From phone conversation on 22 March 2015, about min 53).
5. Submarine nets ---- [info here]. Ralph shared the company name in a conversation recorded on 9 Feb 2014.
6. From a phone conversation with Ralph and Ella, recorded 13 January 2015, at about 33 min.
7. From a phone conversation with Ralph and Ella, recorded 13 January 2015,  at about 37 min.
8. From a phone conversation with Ralph and Ella, recorded 13 January 2015,  at about 34 min.
9. From a phone conversation with Ralph and Ella, recorded 22 March 2015, at  about min 15.

Question:

• When did Ralph's parents, Juanita and Lester, meet Ella? They were living in Southern California and Ralph was living with his grandparents Bertha and Earl Inglish. Would love to hear that story!