Ralph and Ella: Their Courtship

When Ralph proposed to Ella, it wasn’t down on one knee, but he describes it as “kind of
a mutual thing.” After dating for just “a matter of weeks”, Ralph says,

“I became convinced that she was the girl for me and the girl of my dreams, early in our dating program."(1)

They soon decided they wanted to spend their lives together (though they didn't get married until almost 2 years after that first date).

"I remember when I asked her [to marry me], she said, ‘Let me pray about it.’ She wouldn’t give me an answer! … Well, the answer came back. [He chuckles.]”(2)

“I went and met with her father, scared to death, but I said, ‘Brother Findlay, I want to marry your daughter.’ He said, ‘Well, you will date.’ [Chuckles.] He was a man of few words. I don’t know whether he ever said OK! [Chuckles.] (3)

After graduating from Mesa High School in May 1952, Ralph was making plans to move in with his mother (Juanita), stepfather (Lester), and three half brothers (Ivan, David, and Eddie) at their apartment in Wilmington, California. But before he left, Ralph and Ella went to a jewelry store and bought an engagement ring set, tentatively planning to get married the following spring.

Submarine net. (Image source)

For the next 9 months, from May 1952 until March 1953, Ralph was in southern California, going to school at Los Angeles Harbor Junior College, taking classes for their architecture and drafting program.(4) He was also working, initially with Lester at his bait business (digging for and selling rock worms to fishermen) and then for a company named Grommet Reaver making submarine nets.(5)

Still in Mesa, Ella worked for a time as a secretary at one of the elementary schools. Then she got a job at the high school, working with one of the gym teachers to help keep track of sports records and other related details.

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How did they keep in touch during this long-distance relationship? Ella visited Ralph in California a couple of times (riding the Greyhound bus from Mesa to Los Angeles), though Ralph didn’t go back to Mesa again until their wedding. They kept in touch by letters and phone, but mostly by letters. 

“Nobody had more than one phone in their house, and they were all land lines.... There was a special little cubby hole built for the phone. Boy, if you had a phone in your house, you were uptown! And if it rang, you’d have to run and get it. Ella’s family had a phone in their apartment, and we would call occasionally, but mostly it was, I’d get to a phone booth because I had to pay for the long-distance call. Juanita and Lester had a phone in their house. We didn’t spend so much time on the phone.(6)

“We called occasionally - long distance calls were expensive at the time! It might have cost 50 cents or more! … No speakerphones, but the big old heavy handset! Dial on the base, and hold the phone on your shoulder.”(7)

They wrote letters!

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“The letters cost 3 cents to mail. I could write a letter, usually fairly short letters...and I could drive them down to the Wilmington post office, get them there by 5 o’clock, and she would have it the next day. Not even airmail!...We did a lot of writing, almost daily. For 3 cents, we could almost talk to each other!”(8)

Though there was that physical distance between them, their relationship still remained strong. 

Then one day…“I got this invitation in the mail that said the parents of Ella Findlay, George and Kate Findlay, announce the wedding of their daughter Ella to Ralph Mitchell...’Whoa! That’s me!’” [Chuckles.](9)

The big day was set for March 5, 1953.

Notes:

1. From a phone conversation with Ralph and Ella, recorded 22 March 2015, at  about min 9.
2. From a video of Ralph and Ella filmed on 9 February 2014,  at about min 39. Ella has also joked that she make a pre-nup agreement: “I’ll marry you if we don’t live in AZ.” (From a conversation recorded April 2018.)
3. From a phone conversation with Ralph and Ella, recorded 13 January 2015,  at about min 38.
4. The last couple years of high school, Ralph was interested in studying architecture. He had entered a drawing into a contest sponsored by the Ford Motor Company and received an honorable mention! (Ralph adds the caveat, “Like thousands of others,” but still impressive!) (From phone conversation on 22 March 2015, about min 53).
5. Submarine nets ---- [info here]. Ralph shared the company name in a conversation recorded on 9 Feb 2014.
6. From a phone conversation with Ralph and Ella, recorded 13 January 2015, at about 33 min.
7. From a phone conversation with Ralph and Ella, recorded 13 January 2015,  at about 37 min.
8. From a phone conversation with Ralph and Ella, recorded 13 January 2015,  at about 34 min.
9. From a phone conversation with Ralph and Ella, recorded 22 March 2015, at  about min 15.

Question:

• When did Ralph's parents, Juanita and Lester, meet Ella? They were living in Southern California and Ralph was living with his grandparents Bertha and Earl Inglish. Would love to hear that story!

Ralph and Ella's Rendezvous - First Meeting, First Date

Ralph and Ella have reasoned that they must have made a pact in heaven before they were born, that they were going to meet on earth. In fact, Ralph describes their first meeting as “a rendezvous.” Ralph was born first in Safford, Arizona, and Ella was born 28 days later on the other side of the world in Aberdeen, Scotland. Ralph surmises:

“All you kids, our kids and grandkids on the other side, said, ‘Oh no! How are we going to get these guys together!’ There are a lot of things that a lot of people think, ‘Oh it’s just coincidence,’ but we think there was a special purpose, and we have a wonderful family that proves that.”

That “rendezvous” took place in September of 1949, at the opening social of seminary on the outdoor basketball court of the aptly named Rendezvous Park in Mesa, Arizona. Ralph remembers:

“I was just leaning against the fence and just watching. I didn't consider myself a dancer, and there was no one there I wanted to dance with anyway, so I was just leaning against the fence and brother [Max] Cox [the seminary principal and also the MC that evening] grabbed my hand and he said, ‘I want you to meet this little Scottish lassie who just got here from Scotland. Her name is Ella Mae Findlay.’(1) He brought me kicking and screaming across the court, between songs.

"I got within 10 feet of Ella and my focus went all skewed, I couldn't focus. I’d look at her, and I didn't know if my eyes were tearing up or what! She was sitting there smiling, laughing with her friends, and he said, ‘Hey this is Ralph Mitchell.’ She looked at me and said, ‘Oh, hi,’ then she went on visiting with her friends. But I was smitten. I could not get my eyes off of her. And literally, I was shaky! and I couldn't speak! I said to myself, ‘What’s going on here? Why am I feeling this way?’”

They were 15 years old, attending Mesa High School. Ralph was a sophomore, and Ella a junior (2).

At that time, Ralph hadn’t decided whether he was going back to school; he was considering dropping out so he could work. But he stayed in school after all.

(Image Source: Item for sale on eBay)

Now enamored by this “Scottish lassie”, Ralph found out where she lived, and he would drive by her house early each morning, riding his three-wheeled Cushman Motor Scooter, so that he could watch her walk to school. Ella remembers watching him drive by - “I never paid any attention to him!”

So when did Ella start paying attention to him? It was the summer of 1951, almost 2 years later. Ella had already graduated from Mesa High School and Ralph was soon to begin his senior year when they had another fateful rendezvous that would be a turning point in their relationship.
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One summer evening, Ralph and his friends had planned a double date to the Mesa Theater, one of two movie theaters in town. They were looking forward to a typical evening at the theater: double feature, previews, newsreel, cartoons, and an intermission, all adding up to about 4 ½ hours.

“A friend of mine and I, named Richard [Dick Lambert], we set up a double date. I was going to drive my car, the red mercury. I had been dating a girl pretty steady my sophomore and junior year, but we had just broken up...we went to the movie and I told Richard that I don’t have a date (I didn’t look real hard)...so I’ll be your chauffeur.

1946 Mercury Club Coupe, very similar to the one Ralph
owned at the time he and Ella went on their first date, "Only
mine didn't have quite that much chrome!!" (Image Source)

“They climbed in the back of this Mercury Club Coupe and we drove to the theater. We walked into the theater and the only seats available was about three or four rows from the front. The theaters were full at that time. So we filed into the row and I got the feeling - I didn’t even look around - but I got that same burning feeling. I couldn’t focus on the screen, I couldn’t talk! I was sitting there, and when my eyes got accustomed to the dark, there was Ella, sitting right in front of me. She was there with two of her girlfriends, so I sat there and squirmed in my seat. There was a seat right next to her that was vacant, and I kept waiting to see if a boy came in and sat down next to her. And low and behold, no, nobody came in. It was just her and her two friends that were sitting there at the movie.

“The lights go up, intermission came, and I said, ‘Whoa! Look who’s here!’ And Ella said, ‘Oh hi,’ like it was no big deal. So after a couple seconds I said, ‘Why don’t you come back here and sit with me?’ because I had a seat next to me that was vacant. She looked around and saw her friend [Richard’s date], which was a girl who graduated with her too...and she knew both of those people...and she said, ‘No, I’m here with my friends. Why don’t you come sit up here with me?’ Boy, I didn’t let my shirttail touch my back once! I ran around that aisle and jumped in the seat next to her!

"I didn’t try any funny business. I just sat there and watched the movie with her. But about halfway through the last movie, I said, ‘Would you like to ride home with us?’ She said, ‘No, I’m with my friends.’ I didn’t push it, but some time during the last movie she talked to her friends then turned over to me and said ‘Ok, I’ll ride home with you guys.’ So she became my date. I jokingly say that she was a pick up at the theater!”

There was a favorite hangout in Mesa at that time called the Snack Shack, a drive-in restaurant that was THE big place to go. The patrons would pull in, stay in the car, flash their lights, and the

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waitress would come out, put a tray on the side of the car. Following the movie, the four of them - Ralph and Ella, Richard and his date - went to the Snack Shack for an evening meal. Afterward, Ralph took Richard and his date home first, then Ella. They talked and got better acquainted, and they decided to meet again the next week.

That was their first date. And there was a second date, and a third, and more. Pretty soon, after saying some prayers on the matter, they decided they wanted to spend their lives together. On March 5, 1953, they would finally be married, in the Mesa, Arizona LDS temple.

Another retelling of their first meeting and first date stories - Ralph and Ella's expressions are entertaining and oh-so-endearing! Filmed 9 February 2014

Notes:

1. Sounds so southern! That’s just a name that Brother Cox made up. :D
2. Upon arriving in the United States and meeting with the school principal, Ella and her mother learned that she had already completed all of the requirements to graduate from high school in the US. She had already taken classes in Latin, French, algebra, geometry, etc; she was only missing American History and American Problems. She could have entered Mesa High School as a senior, but considering she was just 15, they decided it would be best to stay closer to her age group, which put her a year ahead of Ralph.

Sources:

• Quotes taken from a phone conversation recorded 13 January 2015
• Video of Ralph and Ella filmed on 9 February 2014

Would love to add photos of:

• High school year book photos
• Drive in restaurant - Snack Shack
• Rendezvous Park

Places of Significance: 40 Merkland Road East, Aberdeen

40 Merkland Road East, Aberdeen: This is the home where Ella’s paternal grandparents lived, George and Charlesina Findlay, and where her father, George Findlay, grew up. And this is the street where her father likely learned to ride his bicycle. And where he lived until he got married. And just a block away (toward the east) is the Aberdeen Football Club (soccer) stadium where he and his brothers would go to watch “fitball” games on Saturdays (in "rain, shine, or snow, they'd be at that fitball game"). And not far from here (though we're not sure of the exact location), lived "Auntie Carrie", Charlesina's sister Caroline, whose home had a piano on which George Jr. learned to play.

Number 40 is at the end of the row, and today there are six units, two per floor (we assume as there are six doorbell buttons). We’re not sure which unit the family lived in.

We know that Ella’s father, George, grew up here and lived here until he was married in 1927.(1) He was the oldest of 11 children, the youngest being born in 1925; it’s likely that the other children were born here and living here as well. (2) I imagine they had some creative sleeping arrangements in this modest-sized flat!

KF's narrative. Filmed on location, 30 September 2014.

Ella's narrative. Filmed on location, 30 September 2014.

Notes:

(1) The marriage record for George and Ursula ("Kate") Findlay indicates this.

(2) George and Charlesina had 11 children (5 boys, 6 girls); however, 4 of them (2 boys, 2 girls) died at ages 2 years or younger, with 7 of the children growing to adulthood (3 boys, 4 girls).

Would love to research/know:

• Any census or other records that indicate how long George Sr. and Charlesina lived here? When did they move to their home on Ferrier Cresent in the Woodside area of Aberdeen?